It is difficult to admit defeat. I put up a good battle this weekend, but the lawnmower clearly won.Let's back up to Friday. Students capped off their American Cancer Society fundraising efforts with a fun afternoon of dying hair, pie-in-the-face, dunk tank, hot wing eating, kissing a pig, etc. I really wanted to continue the festivities and support my two colleagues at the Relay for Life that evening. But as I walked out to my car at the end of the school day, I knew I wasn't coming back in a couple of hours. It would be too emotional, too much.
As I sat in the car on that beautiful sunny afternoon, I thought, "Now what?" I had no plans for the weekend. Normally, that might be a good thing. Nothing scheduled. No "have to's". Kevin and I might have gone out to eat or taken the motorcycle for a ride or invited friends over. But I was alone with no plans. It wasn't the same.
So I decided the one thing I wanted to accomplish this weekend, since the weather would be perfect, is to dethatch the lawn. Challenge accepted. I knew the thatcher was in the attic of the garage but I had no clue how to attach it to the lawnmower. Once upon a time we had a blade with tines on it so I was halfway thinking I would have to change blades on the lawnmower. After hauling it down I quickly discovered this version just snapped on to the front axle. Piece of cake! In talking with Keaton on the way home from work, he reminded me, "I don't think putting on the thatcher will be a problem for you. Starting the mower will." I filled the gas tank, made an attempt at checking the oil, pumped the primer, and started pulling.
During this process, my neighbor Jeff got home from work. As he walked to get the mail, he could hear my efforts. He volunteered to give it a try. One pull. Yes, one pull, and it started for Jeff. I hung my head. Happy that it started but defeated that it was so easy for someone else.
I dethatched and bagged until the mower ran out of gas. It was a dirty, dusty business so I was okay with stopping for the night. It was time to get something to eat. I could do the second half tomorrow.
Saturday dawned bright and sunny as promised. The verse at the bottom of this post stuck with me. I resisted the temptation to lounge in bed and read because I had made quite a list for the day. Bank, library, laundry, lawn and gardens were the bulk of it. On a normal weekend (I've said it twice now so I guess "normal" means before Kevin's cancer), we would have split the tasks. I can picture Kevin sitting at the counter paying bills and getting ready to go to the bank while I started the laundry. I think I would have even convinced him to stop at the library to pick up my book since he was out and about. After I did the running, I decided to work on cleaning out the flower beds while doing laundry. Since running the mower was so dusty, I would tackle that after lunch.
Ha! Easier said than done. The real battle had begun. I filled the gas tank and pumped the primer. I pulled several times. Primed some more. Pulled some more. Pause. Catch my breath. Try again. Use two hands for more strength. Nothing. Wait 15 to 30 minutes.
Repeat the process. At one point the mower jerked back over my foot, bending my toenail back. Do a little dance around the driveway to ease the pain. Try again. I was feeling frustrated and defeated and emotional. While taking a breather in between pulls, I glanced around the neighborhood houses, wondering who might be possibly watching out the window getting a little entertainment for their afternoon. As if reading my mind, neighbor Marty walked over. He hadn't been watching out the window, but had been working out back and heard my efforts. Note: he was NOT hearing any expletives echoing through the neighborhood. I was sure Marty would make that mower come to life because I just wasn't strong enough. Nope. He thought it was flooded and maybe needed to look at the spark plug. I could tell this wasn't his comfort zone. He told me he had an electric start mower for a reason. I told him not to worry about it. I would let it sit and try again later.
I put the new spark plug in and was certain this was going to be the cure. I made a pull but heard a ch ch sound. Was I hearing things? Try again. Same noise. Back to Youtube. Believe it or not, there's nothing on Youtube about your lawnmower making a ch ch sound. (I am envisioning those reading this with some mechanical sense are now busting a gut with my antics.) I took the spark plug out and tried again. The Snapper guy on Youtube said not to get it too tight. I pulled again. Same sound.
By this time, long over an hour had passed, and emotions were getting the best of me. I was sitting in the driveway, next to the mower, socket wrench in hand, bawling. I knew this emotion wasn't really about the lawnmower not starting. If that was the case, I should be mad. In reality, I knew it was because Kevin wasn't here...to fix and make things better. I was on my own and I was failing at this task.
Could I call people for help? Yes, but people have plans on a beautiful Saturday. My plans don't need to become their plans. However, my Dad was en route to Alabama so I wouldn't really be bothering him if I called. He wouldn't feel he needed to drop everything and come over because it wasn't possible. Luckily, I caught them at a fuel stop. Of course, explaining the sound meant nothing to him. So I put the phone on speaker and pulled a few times. "Did you hear that?" His quick response, "Yes. Your spark plug isn't tight enough." That made sense. "Thanks. I'll try again."
Try I did. I would do another job for a while and come back and try again. Both hands had small blisters. I imagined I might wake up Sunday morning with my right bicep bigger than my left. After multiple hours of attempts, I finally quit for the day. I had plans (yay!) to attend First Free Church in Onalaska with friends so I needed to get cleaned up.
Today, Sunday, was a new day. Yes, my body was complaining and I was moving slowly at first. But I hadn't given up hope. In my research there was mention of cleaning the air filter. With the assistance of the experts on Youtube, I figured out how to remove the air filter. It didn't look bad but I vacuumed it out just in case. It didn't matter. Even neighbor Jeff, who started it with one pull on Friday, couldn't get it started. By early afternoon I admitted defeat and parked the mower back in the garage.
So tonight as I am vegging on the couch instead of conquering my to do list for school, I am thankful:
- for cell phones that can be taken nearly anywhere and allow you to ask for help from someone miles and miles away.
- for having people knowledgeable enough to answer my questions.
- for the wonder of Youtube and the people willing to share their expertise online.
- for neighbors who willingly reach out to help neighbors like me.
- for my husband's tools and his foresight to have an extra labeled spark plug on hand. By the way, I bought a replacement spark plug for the tool box today.
- for the beautiful weather that allowed us to enjoy the outdoors this weekend.
- that my lawnmower doesn't have a human element allowing it to gloat over its victory!
He is like the light of morning at sunrise on a cloudless morning,
like the brightness after rain that brings grass from the earth.
2 Samuel 23:4
