A Year Ago

A year ago, the first weekend in December, Kevin and his co-workers were busy fixing trucks and making preparations for their move into their new shop in West Salem in the coming week. During the previous week, Kevin had a few instances where he was on his knees working and he just tipped over. A loss of balance. Odd...but he felt fine.  That Saturday evening as Kevin was heading upstairs to clean up before heading out for the night, he tripped up the stairs.  Strange, but it happens. Of course, I had casually suggested seeing a doctor but you know how that went over.

Kevin and I enjoyed our annual trip on the Redneck Express to The Goose Barn for pizza and cocktails. Kev even did a flip on the bars in the bus.  Those who have been on the party bus know what I'm talking about. Certainly no easy feat. On our walk home from downtown, Kevin seemed to be dragging his feet, which was unusual.  I can't remember if I actually told him to pick up his feet or just thought it.  I knew he hadn't had that much to drink but maybe he was just tired.  Work had been stressful.

During the night Kevin got up to go to the bathroom.  When he came back to bed, he missed the bed and landed on the floor. As I awoke with a start, I said, in my stern wifely voice, "That's it.  We're going to the doctor tomorrow."  Sunday morning as we got ready for church, Kevin wasn't using his left arm.  I began to panic. Was he having a stroke?  He could use his arm and it didn't hurt, but it just hung by his side. Of course, I wanted to go to Urgent Care immediately.  Kevin wanted to go to church first.

When we got to church, our friend, who is a first responder, was standing in the back.  I made a beeline toward him and pleaded, "Can you please look at Kevin? I think he's having a stroke."  Our friend had watched us come in and didn't notice anything out of the ordinary, but with the panicked look on my face, he took Kevin outside to do a few quick checks.  His conclusion was that Kevin wasn't having a stroke but should be checkout out.  Kevin agreed to go in after church.

I don't remember getting a whole lot out of mass.  My attention was on Kevin.  We counted money after mass and then went home to change.  Kevin drove us to Urgent Care in Onalaska.  As you've gathered, Kevin rarely went to the doctor.  However, I decided he could check himself in at the desk. The conversation:
      "How can I help you?"
      "I'm not feeling well."
Not gonna lie...I couldn't help but shake my head and smile.  Really???  Who comes to Urgent Care when they ARE feeling well.  Anyway, they got his information and a few of his symptoms and told him to have a seat. So we waited.  Eventually, they called us back to a room where a nurse could ask more questions.  When we entered the office, it was a nonchalant process...have a seat, we'll take your vitals, ask you some questions, etc. Clearly he said something that changed their tune.  They took him back to a room, with the nurse holding on to him as if he was unstable, and a doctor joined us soon after. Dr. Lynn ordered a CT scan of his head because Kevin said he had fallen while hunting a few weeks ago (which was all news to me). They thought maybe he had hit his head even though Kevin assured them he hadn't.

N e v e r  in our wildest dreams did we think Dr. Lynn would come back and say, "You have a brain tumor."          What??           Wait....

Our new journey began.

Technically, the diagnosis date was December 6 (one of those dates that becomes ingrained in your memory).  But it was this weekend, one year ago.  People who had been with us on The Redneck the night before, couldn't believe the news either.  Kevin said he'd be back next year.  He was right. Although we followed the bus over to The Goose Barn in our own car last night, we were able to enjoy fabulous pizza with friends one year later.

This year, this journey, has brought us many unexpected blessings.

• Our family has made it a priority to be together. We have heard and said the words "I Love You", words that weren't often spoken and felt awkward, more than ever before.
• Friends who we didn't see often enough, and for no good reason, are now making it a point to get together. We so enjoy the stories and laughter. 
• Our employers have been unbelievably accommodating. We both have a strong work ethic and have dedicated ourselves to our work. Admittedly, many times work was too much of a priority. 
• Unbelievable caregivers.  My admiration of those in the health care field continues to grow. Whether it is the check-in person at the desk, the lab technician, the nurse or the doctor, they have all been a vital part of Kevin's care.
• Our eyes have been opened to the struggles of others. Quite honestly, we were spoiled. No health problems or addictions or family struggles or money troubles or work issues.  Now I realize how many people are moving through their daily lives with struggles I could not even imagine.
• People are good. Amazingly good. Our hearts and minds still cannot grasp how wonderful people are.  There are so many of you that I aspire to be like some day.  I am learning and growing.
• We pray more.  I still struggle and get easily distracted but I'm trying.
• We now regularly acknowledge, as part of our blessing before meals, what we are thankful for.  It has brought us laughter and tears.

If only our eyes could have been opened to these blessings without the force of looming death. But, better late than never and most likely part of God's plan.

"Show me, O Lord, my life's end

and the number of my days;

let me know how fleeting is my life.

You have made my days a mere handbreadth;

the span of my years is as nothing before you.

Each man's life is but a breath.

Psalm 39:4-5