With Us

Warning:  This blog post is going to be different.  Hopefully it won't offend, but is meant to be direct to make a point. Also, this is not just spoiled, bossy Kathy's opinion.  Kevin and I are in agreement, I am just putting it in writing.


When someone we care about is sick, the helpers want to help and the fixers want to fix.  They want to do something. How incredibly wonderful.  Imagine if our whole world was full of these people. Unfortunately, "fixing" Kevin is out of our hands.  Believe me, we've been married for 27 years and I've tried  :)  (Just kidding)

There is a rumor going around that people who know and care about Kevin are organizing a benefit. Not to sound ungrateful, but PLEASE don't. We don't need it and we don't want it.  Let me try and explain.  I hope those of you involved in the planning read this, and re-read this, putting yourselves in our shoes. We don't honestly know who is specifically involved so I cannot address them directly.

To begin with, we don't need or want your money.  We are blessed to have good insurance covering the majority of our bills.  We are thankful to both be working and bringing in regular paychecks.

Also, imagine how uncomfortable it would be to receive money from people who have less than you do. You know that will happen because people are so incredibly generous, even when they have so little themselves.  Please don't put us in that position.

The little town of Bangor we call home is amazingly giving.  People look out for each other.  That is evident in two upcoming benefits:  Scott Nachtigal (March 19, Log Cabin) and James Reed (April 30, Log Cabin). Adding another benefit would only tap into limited resources.  These two families could really use some help and we would hate to detract from their events in any way. So let's focus on the people who really need our financial help.

Instead of your money, give us your time.  Instead of doing things for us, do things with us.

I've heard names brought up in this proposed event of people I've never even met.  Don't wait until the reception line of Kevin's visitation to introduce yourself and tell me how great of a guy Kevin was.  Do it now.  Let me meet you and hear you share memories and laughs with Kevin.  Let our kids know what their Dad means to others before he is gone.  Money can't do that for us.


So, if you are a helper or fixer who needs to do something or needs to show you care, think about filling Kevin's dance card.  Poor analogy...Kevin doesn't dance.  Fill up his calendar with opportunities to see you.  We know, better than most, how precious time can be.  So if you are willing to give up your time for Kevin, who could ask for more? And if you feel the need to buy us a drink while we are together, we won't argue.

Although we appreciate the thought, we are asking, pleading, please don't host this benefit.